STOP IT LUHH!

(This post is not factual, it is for the use of entertainment only)

Do you remember those days where SOMEONE would take your wallet and hide it
somewhere? OF COURSE you don't! It was such a long time ago! Like during primary school or even before that! But this guy, seems to be the only one who still does it.

(Image has been blurred to save some face)

So aniwae, wah lao eh. You know the guy in the picture hor, he hor, everytime take my things one, then everytime hor, want to pull down my pants one. Then then everytime want to touch my penis one. I dunnoe why buh he always liddat. (Change in tone and grade of language for OBVIOUS reasons.)

I'm not much of a critique, so basically, I think this section should be left for David Hu Kai En to write. David is of course the only human capable of understanding that THING in the picture. None of us can understand his theories on teleportation and about how he is a genuis or how he is going to kill all of us. So stay tuned as I try to bring David in for a special post as he enlightens fellow readers on this on-going phenomenon.

ADDED :
Heyy, I've managed to get the report from David.

"Basically, the photo above, although not taken with perfect quality due to the inability to survive near the presence of that THING (which directly caused the photographer to fall unconscious but still managed to press the capture button on his camera when he fell), is one of the strangest and probably the most unearthly creature that appeared on our planet.

Scientists had produce some results on the information of this creature. Although they are unable to get their hands on any sample from the body of this "alien", they're still giving it their best to expose the true identity and ability of this special being.

This article is distributed so that the readers, you, can get to know first-hand information on the latest and the most exciting results the scientists had revealed. Want to find out more? Then, continue reading.

The professionals believe that one amazing skill of this special being, is the ability to teleport. In fact, the term teleportation might be the appropriate word to describe it. Staying away from a certain distance, they observed this creature "freezes" at certain time of the day in its current state, and then appears all the way in Bangladesh. They were puzzled but still continued to observe more, when this news came that shock the whole group. This being was spotted in a small country thousands of miles south-east from its home. Singapore. To cut it short, this creature had created another copy of it and had sent this entity through teleportation into that country. Its activities in Singapore were briefly described to be stealing wallets from distracted Singaporeans, only to return it and suddenly fall into a state like it was having spasms, which act is suspected to be "laughing".

An accident that happened in this architectural company named WOHA© was supposed to be linked to that creature as well. An amateur architect saw it fidgeting with one the computers in the office, and a few hours later, the building plans was checked and an astonishing error was discovered. The ICs (Inspection Chambers) were all linked with 100mm pipes to almost every computer that were inserted in the building plan.

It also was assumed to have appeared in the game called “MapleSEA” (a.k.a MapleStory South-East-Asia). Players had singled out one character that acts and speaks in a queer way. Phrases that were literally translated from the alien player’s writing looks like “AYEE” and “SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP” were witnessed by various players.

Perhaps the most interesting thing about this “living thing” is that it actually IS surprisingly interested in the Male Reproduction Organ. Yes, you’ve got it right – a PENIS. And of course, no one knows the real reason except that it might be a female (Excluding the second horrifying reason that it has mistaken that “Sausage” to be a “REAL Sausage”… … In other words, it’s EDIBLE for God’s sake, its FOOD! ... FOOOOD! Get that joke? Man…). This logically explains why the creature’s copy in Singapore often was seen pulling pants of boys and men, down. Taken aback, those victims shot out their hands at high speed and pull those pair of cover back up, thus unable to confirm the objective of the being’s acts. Currently, no volunteers had shown up to sacrifice their manhood to help the ongoing research on the being.

With much to expect and much to find out, researches are hoping that this UFB (Unidentified Foreign Being) will bring us the freshest technology that earth in its current state, can’t offer. With this fictitious technology of teleportation, human race had advance to a whole new era. And the ability of disposing deleted data through the pipes into the ICs after converting them to physical matter, well, this is one technology that we haven’t think of throughout the history. So keep on waiting, as this mighty animal from nowhere might become our global genius, our second Albert Einstein."

W O N D E R

~Callum

Halves

HOLY MOLLY. Today was a HELL of a day. I was sick during the day, a very very bad dry cough but I came around in the afternoon. So I decided to join the guys at the Studio. I cycled down, as usual and then wanted to hop this curb near class. To say the least, I had an AMBITIOUS entry speed. The front wheels lifted up flawlessly but due to the speed, the back wheels clipped the curb. BAM! I was on the floor! The bike had flipped over and what was even more astonishing was the handlebar, was split in half! A perfect cut!!!

Yea, there it was, half a handlebar!

But the fall was more spectacular. Following advice from SOMEONE, I jumped off the bike and slid on the hard floor. Looks like the bike landed flat and took most of the damage. Two of my friends were walking and came to again remind me how cool that fall was, so thanks QQ and WR, but man, for that split second, while I was in the air, it felt, almost magical. I was really alive at that moment despite being so close to that hard concrete floor. WOW. If you gave me the chance to do it again, I would. I don't get that feeling very often. Everything is bounded by Health and Safety guidelines, people are too overconcerned. But man, that feel was so; You know when we use to play soccer and there was CONSTANT body contact? It was that feeling. That very feeling I'm missing in my life right now. That pressure, the push, makes you alot stronger , better and faster than you really are.

The story does not end there. The rear derailleurs, yup, the rear derailleurs was also in half! Not due to the fall, maybe it passed it's expiry date. But wow, this is where I come down to earth and really think everything, including the bones in my body, can fall apart, just like that. So this is a tip. When cycling or when doing something where you can get yourself hurt, always, and i mean always, wear a helmet. You might not see the reason, but think about it. You only have one head, and in the event you do fall on head, you want to get up and walk away. So consider that. And also check your tires and brakes. (Sounds like another HSA message from Callum)

Although falling is fun and stuff, you know, roughing it out. There are a few draw backs. Such as these.

Yea yea, I do not actually know how to format the pictures, but yea, that is what you get for sliding on concrete. And you know, yeah, that's basically it. Don't ask me what happen during the fall cause as we all know it, my eyes are always closed during these major life changing events.

So there we are. A few lessons can be learnt. 1. The next time you think of doing something stupid, just sit at home and play DotA. 2. When doing something ambitious, remember this phrase. 'AMBITIOUS, BUT RUBBISH'. 3. Always perform health and safety checks before doing stuff.

So yea, it was fun, definately. Just like competitive soccer, which you know, judging by the feeling, I will most definately try to find a team right after all my scars have healed. (shd be in 2 months time, if nothing else goes wrong) Playing the guitar also sounds like a good idea, just sitting there and strumming away with the wind, doesnt sound that bad at all. Ouh, and for those of you CARE AND CONCERN people, the bike has had a change of handlebar and I have an extra Shimano rear derailluers to replace the broken one. But yeah, the bike can be fixed, it's mechanical afterall. And I'll recover to become something stronger. So no worries there. Just remember...

AMBITIOUS, BUT RUBBISH

~Callum

Thanks

Hey guys, seriously. You know, one word I can say. Thanks. I was a little down on my mood and although I did not cry for help, you guys came. I don't know man, it could seem to you guys as being a friend, but to me, that is what I really needed, heck, that is the only thing I need to get me through the week.

A special shout out to the guy who is riding a White GT Ava 2.0 (07), really man, thanks. And you know how sometimes when we meet and I never seem to share any of my problems, well, that's because I'm very sure you have yours so I'll just solve mine. Heyy, again, thanks.

And to the guy living all the way after the ulu ulu part of Ang Mo Kio, thanks for checking up on me man. Really, it was great to have a chat with you. Should do it more often sometimes. Just to re-live that moment where we had nothing else to worry about.

Ahhh, and of course, 'So im having a bad day, im taking one down'. You had no idea how much that line rang through my head. Really man, the guitar and that moment, perfect symphony of emotion and music.

Yea, I mean to all those who actually bothered to sense my mood; unlike some, wait, A LOT of irritating people who seem to bombard me with THEIR questions and THEIR issues, I really appreciate it. On that verge where my patience was really tested, where it was about to become stretched to its limits, you guys came in and kinda acted like extensions. Really, there is no one else in class, and I mean no one else who are like ANY of you guys, they don't even come close.

I could elaborate on the differences, and you know what, I shall. It struck me that the lessons I've learn, like, 'You die your business' and 'Don't give me excuses give me result'(ever so memorable isn't it?)really helped shaped me to what I am today. Yes those times don't last, and like I said before, it's a shame you guys grew up(but heyy, let's not start this over again?). And you know, coming back to my class, god is it different. A lot of excuses man, I'm actually appalled by it. And to make matters worse, these excuses seem to be doing fine, surprisingly.

I mean we spent like 2 years together, some of us 4, and I dunnoe, I just feel so much closer to you guys. Poly is 3 years right, and well, there's A LOT of things missing. I'm never going to get used to this environment, and as hard as I try, I can never change it. And to add insult to my injury, you guys changed. So that fun will never ever come back, and you and I both know that.

So again, thanks! EVERYONE. I could list all of you guys down but I don't see the point of that. If you're reading this and you feel like you have put a smile on my face, you have. Thanks.

Things turn out best for those who makes the best out of the way things turns out.

~Callum

Practicality

I know you do not see the point of Road Bikes.

Road Bikes are constrained by limitations. To begin with, their full-rigid structure; no front or rear suspension, limits them to only the road. A seemingly small depression on the road could cause havoc for the poor soul sitting on the saddle. The dropped handlebars can only add to your discomfort. With most of your torso thrown way over the cranks and your back arched in such an uneasy posture. And the worries do not end there; the slick tires create some confidence issues when taking a high-speed corner or when the ground is moist.

Trek Series 1.2 (09)

The best way to explain the whole point of a Road Bike, I had to travel South, past West Coast Park across Vivo City and up Mount Faber to try and make you understand the purpose of a thoroughbred bike.

Setting off from the humble neighborhood of Clementi, the majestic road bike rolls out onto its natural terrain, the black tarmac. Mounting the road bike however is not a classical moment. With the geometry of the bike coupled with the high angled seat makes it almost impossible to mount it while ‘maintaining coolness’. Thankfully however, there was a curb to boost me up to save me from the embarrassment.

A flick on the shifters and I was pulling up on West Coast Highway and rolling freely alongside cars with about a hundred and twenty horsepower. You really feel the rush when you’re on a Road Bike. It feels fast, it feels pointy and it feels precise. There is nothing to prepare you for the rush that the bike has to offer. You really feel that urge to go faster and faster. The more power you apply on the pedals the faster it goes. Simple and easy.

If you realize, there has been no mention on shifting the gears. That is the party piece of the Road Bike. A single gear can accelerate and sustain you to the desired speed. Hardly do you have to shift the gears. It really makes you think that the gear ratios was made by engineers whose life revolved around numbers.

Soon however, I was approaching the South Coast. Due to the high demand for property around that area, it has drastically changed to become a construction yard. This would mean the flat smooth road has turned into a surface with dips and rise. You would be expecting me to curse and swear right now. But nope, I’m not. As a matter of fact, it added more ‘flavor’ to the whole cycling experience. You get more involved in the whole cycling process; it’s more than just turning the cranks. What is even better is that you feel the road, you learn every nook and cranny on your journey, and that’s good. (somesort)

Right pass Vivo City and straight up Mount Faber. I’m happy to report that so far everything has been going well and going fast. This is the point of time where you wonder why I brought you all the way to the South to explain the point of a Road Bike. So here it is.

This is the ‘Henderson Waves’. A thirty-six meter bridge above Henderson Road. This summarizes the whole point of a Road Bike. The Waves is as much of a bridge as a Road Bike is as much of a bike. They could have just made the waves a normal bridge at four and a half meters high just like how they could have made a road bike a normal bike: with the lack of aggressive geometry. If they did that, they would not have captured the attention of the public, it would have just been, well….. normal.

And yes they could have added an overhead shelter to make it more practical but they chose not to. They chose to define it, there is a saying, ‘what is more practical is less define’. So they had to make a choice and decided to pay tribute to the sky. And in many ways this relates to a road bike. Yes they could have made it practical, yes they could have a flat bar instead of a dropped, yes they could have made it less aggressive and added to the comfort. But they didn’t. The Road Bike stands as it is today because it’s defined, it’s a thoroughbred, it does one function and it does it very well.

And here we see two thoroughbreds as they stand in their glory. So yes the road bike is less practical but my god it is defined. This is the type of bike where you hammer it down and it puts a smile on your face so wide that it splits your face into half.

It is less practical but more defined

~Callum

Passion.

This is kind of a follow up to the previous post. Architecture, the way i view it, can only be done from the heart with the soul and the passion. Architecture is not about the amount 'A' you get on that diploma of yours. It is what you feel that translates into what you draw. Here, in school, you learn how to respond to the site and the techniques you can use to translate your feelings.

If you're in it just for the sake of scoring, I feel that you're in it for all the wrong reasons. Yes you can brag about how you got into Harvard with your 'A's but you know, that's just not me. Don't you dare come bragging about how much better you are on paper, but I'm open if you come to me and say how much of a better person you became because of the lessons you've learnt.

Again, i re-state my point. NO! I do not care about how much I will score. I do care about how much I will learn. So let it go, stop asking me what have you done? blah blah blah... Ask me out for soccer please! Ask me out for a round an island tour! Ask me out for dinner! Stop asking me 'Like this can or not?' How the hell am I suppose to know?! It's up to you. Stand up man, falling down doesn't make you a failure, staying down does.

If you had the passion to find out stuff on yourself, you will. If you WANTED to learn you will. So find your passion and go for it! Let your passion drive your ambition. Cause I've found mine, it's not architecture. It's engineering. How all the numbers make a difference, how parts all seem to work together. How we can actually achieve that stage of engineering perfection.

So find your passion.

~Callum

(p.s. Wynn, i still owe you a post on practicality.)

Stop Faking It

I'm not about mocking people but I'm also not open to getting mocked at by strangers or acquaintances. I don't mind getting laughed at by Mr Smug or The Slut from time to time, oh wait, actually I don't mind getting laughed at by them at all. And there is a good reason for that, they know me, we have an UNDERSTANDING (somesort). But you know, when people you don't really know or people who do not really know you act is though they do, it really sucks.

Time and time again I whine about how competitive my class can get, there is no actual fun, no actual reason for waking up to go to school in the morning animore. I'm never about what is on paper, never. I do not care how wonderful my results turn out to be, cause even if i get and 'A' on paper, that is what it will ever be, on paper. Some people however never seem to get the point, always so worried about their grades always licking the boots of their lecturers. Non of that nonsense from me man. You like me or you don't, I don't care if you're controlling my grades, I do care however if you're controlling my bike(that could get dangerous, ask YK for details on what happen when i held on to his handlebar). This is the problem with the class as a whole, too competive, there is no more 'Good Morning!', no more 'Soccer Later?', you know, no more that kinda of stuff that bonds us together. Yes, this is about me whining about the competitiveness of my class.

Back in those days, we played a game for the dire soul and passion. We loved the teachers, we respected them not beacuse they control how many marks we got but because they were very close to us. Now, the game is played for blood, no mercy kinda rule. That's just not me man, I will not buy you a cup of coffee because you promise me higher marks, I WILL buy you a cup of coffee if we could sit down and talk. As a matter of fact, if you told me buying you a cup of coffee will result in higher marks I will SLAP YOU IN THE FACE right then and there.

Although there are implications, I mean buying your boss coffee will leave a good impression and so on. In my books however (no, it's not porn magazines), no matter how good of an impression you make, your work must back you up.

Yes, that is my point about this whole competitiveness going on. Nobody dares to disagree with the lecturers, but heyy, I'm here to learn, if Im wrong fail me, Im not here to fully agree with everything you say, 'Repeating what others have done requires knowledge, challenging it require brains'.

Moving on back to the class, my god, I can put my hand up and swear I have no real friends in there. Everybody is so fake, so academically focus. What happened to those good old days of sweating on the field together? What happened to those days of playing soccer after school? What happened to those cycles where we would get hopelessly lost? What happened to the fun and the joy of having classmates?

As we all know it, I do not do any work over the weekend. My weekends are basically used up to meet people who I want to see, people who wants to see me and of course reserved for my bike. The weekend is the time where I get away from my classmate and classwork to spend some QUALITY time with people I grew to love. Things I love to do. Usually I'm not so critical, but here's one of the conversations:

Classmate : 'Did you do any work over the weekend?'
Callum : 'Nope'
Classmate : 'Yea right'

Urgh man. Is it that hard to believe. I have already devoted most of my weekdays to homeworks and stuff. Give me a break! COME ON LUHH! I don't like to talk about work, I don't like to answer questions and I especially don't like to repeat what I've said. Well, actually I don't mind answering any of your questions if you guys were actually my friends. But the truth of the matter is you guys are not. You don't know me, you guys don't care about me so stop faking it. I can see right through.

So stop faking it luhh, you guys are way too overly concerned about what comes out on paper and I don't. You guys are too overly concern about saying the wrong things that could pull down your grades and I'm not. You guys talk to me about work and YOUR design intent and YOUR design stragies and YOUR problems and YOUR next action, and frankly speaking, I answer because I want to talk.

One more thing I like to add. Stop asking me how is my girlfriend. She's fine, she's mine, she's my problem, she's my responsibilty. If you're not even remotely related to me, the why on earth are you asking about her? Goodness. It is not as if you guys know her do you? It is not as if you guys are genuinly concern about her? So stop faking it.

And yes, you guys don't know me and fair enough I do not know you. I may have been a little selfish in saying how much i dislike you guys but heyy, don't take it personally. I do not know most of you, I do not know your backgroud, I do not know your problems. However, I do not want to know either. Yes Im very sure you guys have your own problems and I have mine too, Im sure you guys have friends to listen to yours and I have friends to listen to mine. So please forgive me if I'm only giving my point of view, but this however is my blog.

So that basically sums it up, I wake up everyday, sit down in a class filled with strangers and then go home. Have a big grin on my face as the weekend approaches and wipe it off once the week starts.

So stop faking it.

~Callum

Chicken Chop USA

On the 31st of May, i took a ride with my road bike down to Tampines. It was a bad idea to start at 2pm as i heard, from someone, that it was the hottest time of the day. Right, so aniwae, i went down to the Local Bike Shop, and asked for a spare tube, and the uncle, to my horror did not have the size! But it is what it is.

Well, I've got to admit, this was one hell of a ride, i went down to West Coast Highway and then went up to the city, and being a Sunday it was empty. Tall buildings providing a hell of a shade as i zoom past the heart of Singapore's Businesses. Then there was the party piece, pulling out from the city, i pulled onto the Esplanade Bridge and 'WOW'. That is the only word to describe it, 'WOW'. It was the smoothest piece of road i have EVER felt. There was the breeze but what took my breath away was the view. To the left there was the city skyline, and being the day, i could admire every detail the architects did to the facade of the buildings. To the right was the mouth of the singapore river, the singapore flyer and the esplanade of course.

For that moment, it felt as though time froze, it was like that picture perfect moment where i wished i could stop on that three or four lane brigde to pose for a photograph. But i didn't and life goes on.

Things went a little down hill from there, due to my 'excellent' navigation, i screwed up and i ended up right smack in GEYLANG. Oh man was it a stark contrast to everything else i have been through. The roads to begin with was anything but flat and smooth. There were bumps and potholes and being on a road bike, it really sucked riding on that road. But traffic was what nearly killed me. Buses and taxis who URGENTLY needed to get past a kid on a bicycle, honks and to make matters worse, i couldnt just speed down the road thanks to the jaywalkers who can somehow not see a cyclist approaching!

After that whole ordeal, which left me shaken (beacuse you know, being a Singaporean you ASSUME everyone would be courteous and obedient) i finally pulled up alongside Bedok Reservoir. I tuned the bike down and set it to cruise (somesort), and just sat up and enjoy the view. And before i knew it, there i was in Tampines!

Yup, there it is, my bike parked at a void deck as i cool down. I carried two 500ml bottles of mineral water and it was dry by the time i arrived at Tampines. The whole ride was fun, it did not take as long as expected but it was fun. It was just me, my bike and miles of open road, and that wasnt the end of it, ohh no it's not.

Ahhh, would you look at that! It's called 'Chicken Chop USA' and for only $5.50 it's exceptional value! Ouh, a point to note, it doesnt come with two eggs, i was an extra and added another one. But this was it, the pinnacle of my whole journey. Except to mention that it was actually mutton, not chicken, but heyy, it's was quite a meal!

Yea, it's not much of a blog post, but heyy, why are you being so critical?

~Callum