From a song...

I can see the hurt behind your smile
For every sign I recognize

Another one escapes me

Let me know what plagues your mind

Let me be the one to know you best

Be the one to hold you up

When you feel like you're sinking

Tell me once again

What's beneath the pain you're feeling

Don't abandon me

Or think you can't be saved

I walk beside you

Wherever you are

Whatever it takes

No matter how far

Through all that may come

And all that may go

I walk beside you

I walk beside you

Summon up you ghosts for me

Rest your tired throughts upon my hands

Step inside this scared place

When all your dreams seem broken

Oh, when everything is wrong

Oh, when hopelessness surrounds you

Oh, the sun will rise again

The tide you swim against will carry you back home

So don't give up

Don't give in

What "Callum" means...

The characteristics of #4 are: A foundation, order, service, struggle against limits, steady growth.

The expression or destiny for #4:

Order, service, and management are the cornerstones of the number 4 Expression. Your destiny is to express wonderful organization skills with your ever practical, down-to-earth approach. You are the kind of person who is always willing to work those long, hard hours to push a project through to completion. A patience with detail allows you to become expert in fields such as building, engineering, and all forms of craftsmanship. Your abilities to write and teach may lean toward the more technical and detailed. In the arts, music will likely be your choice. Artistic talents may also appear in such fields as horiculture and floral arrangement, as well. Many skilled physicians and especially surgeons have the 4 Expression.

The positive attitudes of the 4 Expression yield responsibility; you are one who no doubt, fulfills obligations, and is highly systematic and orderly. You are serious and sincere, honest and faithful. It is your role to help and you are required to do a good job at everything you undertake.

If there is too much 4 energies present in your makeup, you may express some of the negative attitudes of the number 4. The obligations that you face may tend to create frustration and feelings of limitation or restriction. You may sometimes find yourself nursing negative attitudes in this regard and these can keep you in a rather low mood. Avoid becoming too rigid, stubborn, dogmatic, and fixed in your opinions. You may have a tendency to develop and hold very strong likes and dislikes, and some of these may border on the classification of prejudice. The negative side of 4 often produces dominant and bossy individuals who use disciplinarian to an excess. These tendencies must be avoided. Finally, like nearly all with 4 Expression, you must keep your eye on the big picture and not get overly wrapped up in detail and routine.

Your Soul Urge number is: 4

A Soul Urge number of 4 means:

With the Soul Urge or Motivation number of 4 you are likely to strive for a stable life. You tend to follow a rather orderly pattern and systematic approach in your endeavors. You have an inner desire to serve others in a methodical and diligent manner. You want to be in solid, conventional, and well-regulated activities, and you are somewhat disturbed by innovation and erratic or sudden changes. Excellent at organizing, systematizing, and managing, you have a way of establishing order and maintaining it. You are responsible, reliable and in the final analysis, practical. Highly analytical, you can see your way through all sorts of situations and generally have a clear understanding of the issues. You are a very honest, sincere, and conscientious individual.

The negative side of the 4 is rigid, stubborn and somewhat narrow-minded. There is a tendency to hide feelings, or to really not be aware of real feelings. Avoid being too rigid and stubborn in your thinking, and try to always see the big picture rather than becoming to involved with the detail. Don't be afraid to take a chance once in awhile.

Your Inner Dream number is: 9

An Inner Dream number of 9 means:

You dream of being creative, intellectual, and universal; the selfless humanitarian. You understand the needy and want to help them. You would love to be a person people count on for support and advice.

_________________________________

Yea rite, what bullshit. Notice the first paragraph. Notice how they mention I'll do well in building, engineering, horticulture, floral arrangement, physician and especially surgeon... Isn't that just like naming down MOST of the occupations available?!

Finally Free

"I'm finally free, no longer, torn in two..."

Ahhh, yes. It's done, finally.

Presentation for JC1 is over. I'm not very pleased with it, this is the first time I exceeded the time given to present. There's a reason why I plan stuff, so we don't get defaulted on technicalities. If they give us 20 minutes to present, I suggest we bloody hell keep within 20 minutes.

Yes I'm pissed. We were dancing like fools around the slides because somebody couldn't talk WITH the slides. THEN WHAT IS THE USE OF HAVING THE SLIDES AS AN ADVANTAGE?! WHAT IS THE USE IF THE SLIDES SHOWS SOMETHING ELSE AND YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE. Urgh. Dumb, took 6 mins to present 3 bloody slides.

Thanks to that, I wasn't able to complete my slides. THANKS.

I mean, it's ok, you didn't do the slides, you wouldn't know how much effort and thought went in, you wouldn't know how much I wanted to present it.

But, good news, had a reshuffle to teams. And yea, life is fair...

Got a hell of a team.. Me, David, Harith and Bing Huang. So, looks like we're balanced. Each of us can work all the softwares efficiently, fair mix of Sketch-up, 3dMax, Photoshop and CAD. Don't really have a dedicated model maker though, so that could be a problem. but heyy, this is perfect.

Well, if you're happy with it.

Ok, school has started, and my blog has died.

But no, again, I'm a man of my words. My blog is not going to go down just because I fail to manage my time.

So, anyway, full recovery from the crash. Got my legs and hands back. And yeap, scratches are healing up nicely.

School? Is just fucked up. What's wrong with me? Too much expectations? I don't think so. I'm just disliking the bo-chap attitude, the fuck-care-ness going around. Are you guys retarded?! This is the fucking third year. Maybe I should welcome you guys to life, welcome to Singapore, I'm sorry, a 3.5 GPA is not going to get you anywhere, good bye.

So start working la idiot. I realise, even if I put in a hell lot of effort, and manage to get a 4.0 this year, it will only average to a final cumulative GPA of 3.6... And if I put it effort, and hopefully get 3.5, I'll still remain at 3.5.

So why bother rite? Because if by the slightest chance that I get picked for an interview, by that slight hope I do get pick, I can utilize my bullshit skills.

"Yes sir, I know my first and second year were not spectacular, but it was only during my third year that I've realised the value of education, and so, I hit the ground running. It shows just how much improvement a simple change of mindset can make. I would strongly urge you to B E L I E V E in me."

And yes, I'm not going to let anyone jeopardize my chances. So yes, don't try me. You guys may not be pushing for anything, but trust me, I am. So yes, I hate UNNECESSARY screw ups, I hate late work, I hate excuses, because you guys don't fucking understand.

Honestly, my current group. They're just handling ONE project. And let me put that into perspective, I'm handling the same project, my diploma plus, the green sparks competition and the green wave competition, which has three separate projects. So that's ONE for them, and SIX for me. And let's be honest here, I still want to take up more competitions, I need the exposure.

So, if you guys fucking hell understand, then I won't be left waiting for work, and I won't be left RE-DOING the shit work that you couldn't be bothered to do.

And the competition group is not smooth sailing either. Submission is next month, and they're treating it like some fucking joke. Fucked up. I'm there sacrificing my time trying to pull the whole team through, and there we have faggots who can't remember the task they're suppose to do.

I'm not the most available guy on earth either. It sucks when you have to PLAN a time to go out with your friends... Yes, it sucks having to write their names down in my organiser, yes it sucks when I have to say no to them, yes it sucks when you're not in touch with them, yes it sucks when you're desperately squeezing in lunch and dinners with them.

Don't understand what I'm saying? Here's an example, this week. I'm taking my girl out for dinner today, I'm going out with poly classmates on Thursday, Friday is for my secondary school friends and Saturday for my primary school classmates.

So it fucking sucks when my time has to be planned for friends. It's just stupid. And it's even more stupid to see some people breaking my plan just because they have to spend time they don't have to impress people they don't like.

Yes, I'm being serious, the archi class have never bonded, stop fooling yourself into thinking it ever will.

And stop giving me excuses, start giving me results. Yes, I would love to listen and understand your situation, but hello, my life is not a fucking fairytale either. So shut up, because I can assure you, my problems, EXCLUDING academic problems can overshadow your piece of shit nonsense in which you call a reason.

YES. I've been faking a smile. I'm NOT happy to see you. STOP pretending to be my friend.

Meanwhile, on the lighter side, thank you to all my other "TRUE/ACTUAL" friends who have patiently waited and given me time to sort out my problems before attending to yours. Really appreciated guys. You guys never actually know how much, "Sorry for troubling you", "Hey, had a great dinner", "It's ok, I can wait", "I shan't disturb you then", "Thank you", "Yea, I'll be happy to come down to Mr Prata just for you"... Yea, you guys never actually know how much happier you guys make me feel just by saying that. Makes me feel so, appreciated. :)

There's so much more I can talk about, but it's useless to talk about people that don't matter, why don't I just hang out with people who do... So yea, PLEASE, take this post PERSONALLY, you guys are fucked up. (not you Slut).

Wow, that's a lot of stuff

Right, so. How's my life so far?

GREAT. I guess.

Starting to recover fully from the crash. And, yea, everything else seems to be falling in place.

:)

I have a hell of a great timetable for the next semester.

Yea. I was so happy that there was no school on Friday. So happy that I went around mocking some people. Laughed at one guy who stays in Punggol and happily smirked at another poor soul stuck in Kallang from 8.30am to 6pm.

That was until I clicked "View 18:00-23:00 Timetable". And oh f***k. Great, lessons till 9pm. Well, it beats last year. Last year had lessons from 8.30am-8.30pm, this year, it's 10.30am till 9pm. Yes, it is some sort of consolation.

So, anyway, had some fucked up conversations, since I wasn't going out as often as I liked. And, frankly speaking, with the amount of bullshit being spilled in each conversation, it deserves a new post by itself. So yea, look out for the post. Leslie, with his bullshitting skills, will of course take center stage.

Anything else?

Hmmmm, not really. OH!

The boards, for my make believe project. Of course, it's not completed yet. Left some sketches, the dreaded 3D. And yes, it took a month to come it with that. But don't be a critic just yet. It's the holidays and I'm not working as fast as I'm suppose to. Plus, got caught up reading books, hanging out with people who I haven't seen in a long time, so yea. Did very little work. As the saying goes,

"If each day you do very little, at the end of the week, you'll realize you did very little" :)

_____________________________________

And I have a feeling that my mountain bike feels ignored. Don't worry. Someday, I'll clean you up!

(that's what I said before the holidays started)

Well, talk is always louder. School is going to start soon. And, hmmm, it's already Tuesday. No confirmed plans for the whole week. That sucks. But, would most probably love to take the bike out for a smooth ride.

I really wish we had roads like those in France, or Switzerland, or Italy. And I really wish foreign cars won't come in and start running red lights. But no. We're too cramp and the government just brings in more and more people. What to do. This is not exactly a democracy is it?

Anti-Government much?

Well, anti government much?

Singapore Armed Forces. Has never lost a war, because they never fought in one.

Ahaha, just to be clear, I'm happy with the current political state of Singapore. I'm even happy with the increase in COE! Really, I am. But I don't think that'll help reduce the number of cars on the road.

Please don't arrest me.

Cycling, I quit you.

After five near accidents and one crash, I guess enough is enough huh?

I'll just fix my bike. And that's it guess. I'll pick up again once I'm ready. Suddenly the fear of crashing becomes real. The value of life becomes justified.

Timeline

New Timeline for the week

Sunday Morning - Accident along Commonwealth Ave, get checked in hospital, rest at home, update friends.

_________________________

Monday Morning - Replace damaged wheels, physical check on the bike.

Monday Afternoon - Report to Traffic Police Headquarters for statement

Monday Evening - Rest and prepare to be mocked at.

________________________

Tuesday Morning - BCA-CDL Green Sparks meeting

________________________

Wednesday Morning - Go to hospital to consult a Specialist, prove to him everything's ok. Go home.

________________________

Thursday Morning - Replace Handlebars

________________________

Friday - Rest

________________________

Saturday - Ride again

________________________

Sunday - (Fill in the blanks) _ _ _

“Falling comes easy to all of us, but falling properly is an art. If you train yourself to avoid the natural impulse to stick your hand out, you have a chance to tuck your shoulder in and roll. The force of landing is spread rather than concentrated on one small spot. This is the drill you can practice at home with couch cushions mattresses, whatever. I'd recommend doing it about every six months, just to keep the feel."

“Bicycling is a big part of the future. It has to be. There's something wrong with a society that drives a car to work out in a gym."

There's THREE ways to ride a bike. With strength from your legs, with stamina from your lungs and with soul from your heart.

Ranting

Alright. Just returned from Faber, as part of my every other day routine.

Great day today. Very great day. En route to South Buona Vista road, there's a taxi stuck behind my bike waiting to get to the AYE. I did the most sensible thing and danced up that climb. At the peak, we exchanged glances, he raised up his right hand and gave me a thumbs up. :)

Then it was the climb to South Buona Vista, and I was trying to cut right but none of the cars wanted to give way. Then, finally, a friendly honk from a Toyota Vios with the police livery and the driver gestured me to move in in front of him. (For those of you who didn't get it, a police car slowed down and allowed me to move my bike ahead of him)

Then it was Faber, and I saw the same guy jogging up Faber. Descended, and turned back home via Alexandra Road and Commonwealth Ave. I was generally pleased with the ride, until I saw the condition of my bike.

Amount of soot and dirt collected on the seat tube.

Same thing on the stays.

Alright. As much as I love riding, I would really love cleaner roads.

- I want vehicles to have cleaner emissions

- I want gas guzzlers to be taxed

- I want a quota on the number of cars on the road

- I want the COE to be based on emission rather than engine capacity

- I want smoother roads

- I want public transport to be given priority

- I want Singapore to lead in green engines(smart idling, fuel efficiency, so on and so forth)

- I want Singapore to be a Garden City, not just a city with Gardens

-I want the people to care about the environment.

__________________________________________

Side topic, I know a lot of drivers keep on stressing the point that bicycles don't pay road tax, thus and therefore they don't belong on the road. But, then again, road tax is used for road maintenance, and how much damage can a bicycle cause to the road? We weigh less then a ton, we don't do burnouts on the road, and when we crash, we can pick up the pieces of our bikes. END OF ARGUMENT

Next, drivers are always complaining why cyclist cannot use the pavement. First and foremost, it is illegal, and secondly,

ROAD GOT THREE BLOODY LANES, WHY YOU CANNOT USE THE OTHER TWO?! STUPID OR WAD?! DUNNOE WAD'S CALLED A STEERING WHEEL UH?!

Yea. END OF ARGUMENT

Again

Just returned from Faber.

Spectacular view while climbing. Spectacular sound while descending. I love climbs. I love climbs. I love climbs. As a matter of fact, after Faber, I climbed Alexandra Road and Queensway Road just for the kicks on the way home. As usual, shot down a can of red bull before I got my wings.

Museums

Museum für Kunsthandwerk

Museum Abteiberg

Kunstsammlung Nordrhin-Westfalen

Splash and Dash

Alrite. 3 weeks into the holiday. And I'm generally pleased with progress.

Have been cycling.

Have been reading.

Have been doing CAD and Photoshop

Haven't start on 3d Max.

Ok, nevermind. One last week for me to work before enjoying 2 weeks of holidays! So yea, holiday plans are in order I assume. Friday midnight/night movie. Catching clash of the titans, hopefully in 2d. Then a long awaited ride to East Coast on Sunday, and then, no plans after that. Ouh, should start planning. 14 days. Hmmm, can do a lot of stuff. Can start retiring my road bike for awhile, until I can get my academic life in order.

Have been shooting down red bull before my rides. Gives the extra boost. I think. I don't really know if it helps, but it's all about the mentality. If I think it helps, it helps. And what goes well with red bull?

A red merc!

And. Breve Hot Chocolate! (but really, dun try drinking red bull with hot choco.)

AND! Have you guys ever realized, after Monday and Tuesday, the calender says W T F ?

Err?

Eh, bro, you joking right?

You ride three to four times a week. Now you're riding carbon.

But what surprises me is your description.

"Very comfortable and stable even at 30+km/h"

What speed you cruising at?!?! Of course stable la. 30+ km/h only... -.-. Road bikes are stable well beyond 70km/h. Still got wireless cyclo-computer some more. Aiyoh.

Some people, seriously don't deserve to ride some bikes. But oh well. Money talks.

Oh god

What happened here?

Oh my. Oh well. Yea, got this from some blog which updates me via twitter.

Talking about twitter. Wow, it's quite cool.

ok, and remember how I said Glen was a nice guy on twitter? I take it back. I take it all back.

Oasis is tweeting during their concerts, so you know what exactly they're playing and how the crowd is reacting and stuff.

Lance Armstrong tweets very often about his training regime and his upcoming races.

The rest of the people, like Demi, Taylor Swift, John Mayer, just tweets about whatever is going on.

Rained on my parade.

Honestly. Rain sucks.

My day started out with the usual morning wake up sms. And then, once I got rid of that irritant, I continued with my daily life. Turned up the radio and tuned in to the AM Jam, prepared breakfast and powered up my computer. Glen, then logged in at 8.40, and yes, he's late for work. Again. Yet, he's proud of it. I am appalled by such bravery.Anyway, I finished fixing and cleaning Wynn's bike, to give it to Leslie.

Yea, a rudimentary bike, but, very practical. I rode that, with the basket all the way to CCK. Of course, the least I was expecting was a "Thank You". But, instead, the only words that I could clearly remember despite retrieving, fixing, cleaning and sending the bike over, was 'What a faggot'. Oh well. Typical Leslie.

And then, I took a bus home. The bus, was URGH. Vibrating like crazy. Not the most comfortable of buses I guess.

I did reach home eventually, pulled out my bike, and heavens doors open wide and the lord blessed us with water dropping down from the sky. For those of you who didn't get it, it rained. So yea, went to catch a few winks and woke up again at 8pm, and went along the predefined route.

Ok, getting to Changi was smooth.

If I had a better camera, then you guys would be able to see the majestic SIA 777 come in for a B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L touch down. Yes, that was the reason why I dragged my 64kg ass all the way out to Changi. Just to watch these magnificent piece of engineering perfection touch down on the WORLD'S BEST AIRPORT. (ahhh, proud to be a Singaporean).

Getting out of East Coast was another breeze. A MTB overtook me, and I was more then happy to stay on his back.

Yeap. After that, getting through town was another breeze, got a draft courtesy to SBS Bus Service number 131. A little to dangerous to take a snapshot while drafting something that big.

West Coast Highway, killed me. AAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH. There's so much construction work going on. The Circle line, and some cable works, entrance to Sentosa. Uneven tarmac was slamming on the bike at 37km/h which in turn slammed my balls and forced me down to a crawling speed of 27km/h. And I just couldn't recover after that. I wasn't riding after that, I was merely sitting on the bike.

So, dear Transport Minister, I urge you to fix West Coast Highway for the convenience of vehicles that do not come with pneumatic suspensions. Think about it, it'll only cost a few billion dollars, but, putting smiles on the faces of so many commuters, doesn't if just create that warm fuzzy feeling in your heart?

YA RITE.

I WISH.

I'll just find another route.

But thanks for pretending to care. Appreciated.

Afternoon Ride

Yay! Finally rode in the afternoon!

Felt good. Drafting behind countless amounts of trucks, just zipping my way across West Coast Highway until finally reaching Mount Faber. Had a hell of a climb, descended and drafted my way all the way home again.

And when I was stuck at traffic, I pulled out my phone, and Twitted. AHAHAH! Yes, damn fun being able to twit from my mobile. Of course, reached home in record time. Now cycling to Faber feels like walking over to the next block.

Got a hell of a draft up Clementi Road. It was a dump truck, and it was pulling me at 40km/h, and then it had to slow down up the hill, and I was stuck behind it's tail. Cool. Thanks for the draft dude. Appreciated. Yes, I was like a pussy sticking behind a truck, but it requires balls to follow inches behind a 10-tonne truck. (exaggeration)

Next ride, hopefully on Friday, where I would ride to Changi, complete one lap of the TT circuit, an hopefully get a draft back home. Only complain however, is the roads.

IT'S NOT SMOOTH!

Ahhhh, like hell it's irritating. Can't get the power down. And yes, now that I'm rested, I'm surprisingly able to pull 37km/h again. Maybe it's because it's in the afternoon, relatively lower humidity? So lesser air molecules, so lesser resistance? LOL. Sounds nerdy, doesn't even make sense.

And yes, with all these excitement, I haven't been reading. AHHH! I'm backlogging on books. AH! Then the competition and site visit is next week. Then school is going to start. Then I have to finish my holiday projects. Then I have to fix Leslie's bike. Then I, ARGH. ARGH. ARGH. That's just a lot of stuff to do.