Strength

(This is quite emotionally driven, so pardon the insults)

I realize I've been whining a lot lately. To those who listened patiently, thanks, to those who I was whining about, well FUCK YOU ALL.

Fair enough, everyone has problems, but man, I've seem to have grown weaker. Nowadays it's so easy to get people to listen, and they do. They don't always have solutions, but they listen. And that's what matters the most.

I have always, and I mean always thought that I was mentally strong, that whatever happens my mind can numb my heart. Turns out, I am wrong. Or maybe something happened? Maybe I'm not who I use to be? AHHHH. I don't really know.

Why am I starting to care so much? WHY? Why can't I just live in my own world with my friends? I've always wanted to handle matters in the mature way, so please not try to act childish here, you don't want to get physical. Skinny punks.

What happened to the guys man?! Some are turning gay. Growing long hair like girls and too afraid to sweat I assume. Must take you guys HOURS to get your hair done after the shower doesn't it? Sorry if this gets personal, but what the fuck man. There are soldiers fighting wars out there and you guys are so proud of 'owning' in DotA.

Fuck luhh, I really wish I had proper guy friends who aren't afraid to bleed, the kind that do not care what kind of clothes they wear, the kind where you would go out with after school to play some sports. Fuck, I miss those days. Now what the fuck, all so afraid to sweat? KNN CCB.

I'm really not an indoor guy. Really. I rather get knocked down and ran over by a Mercedes C-Class rather than sit at home playing some mindless computer game. I'm not even going to argue which is better, I'm just saying which I rather prefer. I mean seriously, you guys look like faggots to me. Fucking fake faggots. And what is with the attitude?! FUCK!? Do you fucking think you are better than me? DO you honestly FUCKING believe that you're better than me?! Well, FUCK YOU.

Who the fucked define better? Tell me who the fucking hell defined the word better? You? Ouh Fuck off. Yes yes, you think you're so fucking great, and you know what? Fine, I'm shutting up. You know what you should do? You should leave me the FUCK alone. But no, you always have to remind me of how fucking better you are. Don't.

You should know carbon fibre. Looks ok on the outside but it slowly cracks on the inside. I'm more or less like carbon fibre. Strong on the outside but slowly cracks on the inside. So don't fucking rub your noses in my face, I might just smack it one day. Don't tempt me.

You don't even know me. So shut the fucking hell up. You want to judge me? Oh, remember to ask me what I think about you, you self-centred piece of fuckin trash. The only reason why I haven't punch you in the face yet is because I still have that tiny bit of patience, it's hanging there, but just. Try it and you won't even fucking know what the fuck hit you.

Seriously, stop taking fucking advantage. I'm nice. I know you guys have your problems so I don't push it, but it seems like I'm the one being pushed around. I'm not raising my voice not because I don't have one, but because it'll blow that fucking big head of yours. So shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone man. Things will get ugly if you don't, that I can fucking promise you. No fucker, I'm not a coward that uses numbers to intimidate people, I'll fucking take all of you on. One thing I've learnt from falling is that I stand up stronger, so try and take me down now assholes. I'm running out of vulgarities to describe you guys, so I'll shut the fuck up and see how this fucking game plays out.

CURRENT WISHLIST:

My old friends back OR COMPLETELY new friends
Guys who are willing to play soccer
To physically manhandle an arrogant son of a bitch
People with passion
People would just fucking hell let go of that fucked up ego
Fuckers to leave me alone

THINGS TO DO:

Ignore fuckers
Let go of my ego
Build my own world and live in it
Kill everyone who's pissing me off
Ride my bike really really long and really really fast in the hopes of crashing
Lose my phone, change my number and disappear

".. like carbon fibre, strong on the outside but slowly cracking on the inside"

~Callum