I can do better.

Hey! A Level results came out.

Congratulations guys. Two years of hard work, last minute mugging and sheer luck have produced, well, quite some decent results. Yea. Good job guys. Good job. Bottoms up!

Yea. What else can I say?

Well done guys.

____________________

So, somehow right, I changed back to my old Samsung phone. The light blue clam-shelled phone. I powered it up and my old wallpaper loaded.

It was like a walk down memory lane.

All the old messages we still preserved in the phone. All those nights we stayed up text-ing sweet nothings to each other. And they were still there, in the phone, all the messages were precisely four minutes apart.

Then, I went to the drafts, and started reading all the messages that I never did have the time or will to press 'send'.

There was even a song I wrote. But I never got a chance to play it. To you.

The song 'Keep the Dream Alive' by Oasis, we've always said it needed a better second verse.

Then you came and you turned my life around

And when you left, I was on the ground

Every night I scream your name

Everytime I feel the pain

You are my dream,

but now my dream has failed.

Down the road, I was looking for a sign

There you were, and I felt so alive

Every night I'll hold you close

You and me we're both alone

You're my answer and I won't let you go

...

Then there's more, but I really don't think it's appropriate. Not at the stage of life that we're both in anyway.

I just feel asleep rewinding the moments. And when i woke up, I just wanted to slide back in to that dream. I didn't want to change anything, it was perfect, I just wanted to watch it go by, again, and again, and again.

The familiar sms then rang. I flipped it open, and it wasn't your name.

Why would it be?

This is reality.

________________________________

But I can't help thinking. I deserve so much better. In terms of everything

The respect I should be getting.

The friends who I hang out with.

The life I'm living.

I don't know. I just can't help to stop and think how much better I would progress if I had the best equipment and the best environment to maneuver and grow in.

Yes. I am complaining.

I think, may sound arrogant, but I find that some things, and some people are just dragging me down. Nothing more than a dead-weight that I have to live with. Nothing more than a distraction. Nothing more, than nothing.

It's time to be a little more selective I guess. It's rare, then when I go out with people, I get to do the things that I really want to do. And it's those rare few people who do things that I want to do and they don't mind doing it, it's those rare few people, only those few people who I should really keep close.

All my life I'm fine with anything, guess there's a limit to that.

I think, I don't know. I think I just deserve better, especially now.